The Dumbing Down of America
List of reasons why we are Dumber than before:(The items are in no particular order)
Global Warming CO2 levels .vs. American IQ levels.
IQ's in America are exactly tracking the increase in atmospheric Carbon Dioxide.
Local News. Fifty percent of their air time is wasted on previews of
hyper-shallow stories that are "coming up next".
Lead stories are always the most disgusting dirt they can dig up that day.
NEWS RULE 1: Pedophile stories always lead.
NEWS RULE 2: Must find Pedophile story.
These are followed by Weather Forecasts that are always wrong. (Except in Hawaii)
Then come the daily health reports, by a 'Specialist'. These are beyond shallow, but funny.
whose last name ends with: "Bush"
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over,
and expecting a different result.
-- Albert Einstein
Gas Prices ending with 9 Tenths of a Cent
In the early days, gas actually sold for 9.9 cents per gallon,
so that was not very dumb way back then...
But Now Days... just plain stupid.
When a gallon of gas costs $79.99 someday, what will happen?
They will display the price as: 79999
"Ask Your Doctor" on nightly National News.
American drug companies carpet news broadcasts with these painfully dumb commercials.
They are begging you to buy their drugs. Drug Pushers are monsters.
"Award Shows". An inexpensive way for the Networks to attract top actors and actresses
into appearing in a TV show for free by offering them glory and cheap little statues.
"Viagra Ads". Millions of dollars are spent every day to advertise products
that need no advertising whatsoever. I can't decide if Tampax Ads are just as useless.
The worst thing about these ads is they make America dumber.
Candy wrappers containing the words: "Fat Free"
The "Politically Correct" movement.
Around the time Americans were getting fully dumbed down, along come these people
who are offended whenever anybody reveals any personality when they talk.
The word: "Homeless". (Only when used to describe an adult, not a child)
The P.C. people insist we use this word, instead of "Bum" (or "Bums").
Listing this item is my payback for not being able to say the word "Bum".
When we were kids, we would see the bums downtown and by the railroad tracks.
Our parents scared us into growing up to be good citizens by saying:
"You better do (this or that), so you won't grow up to be a bum!".
Thank You, P.C. people - why don't we rename YOU to something like: 'Snots'?
The Old: "Y2K".
Just your typical invention by the News Media during a slow news year.
This was almost funny, because even a lot of smart people suckered for this one.
It was an especially nice touch when they setup those credible looking
"Y2K Control Centers" on TV -- to keep us abreast of all late breaking tragedies
as the year 2000 rolled around.
If our News Media had you worried about Y2K, you have been dumbed down.
Deduct one more IQ point if you weren't angry when the Media didn't apologize for Y2K.
"Olympic Vignettes". Athlete Sob-Stories narrated by Jim Nance, CBS Winter Olympics, 1998.
Reason: Ruined the Olympics.
"Groin Shots" on "America's Funniest Home Videos".
"Debit Cards". If you can't control yourself with a Credit Card,
You won't control yourself with a Debit Card, either.
The Irwin Allen Movie: "The Poseidon Adventure", 1972.
Reason: A new low, starring both Diane Cannon and Ernest Borgnine.
The Movie: "Airplane II, the Sequel", 1982, starring Robert Hays and Julie Hagerty.
Especially the part when the Space Shuttle makes an emergency landing on the moon.
The Bloop - From the TV Series "Lost In Space".
You should See the Bloop (Opens in New Window)
The character "JarJar Binks" - From Star Wars IV.
Reason: Ruined the movie.
This item might be misplaced here, because the movie was shown worldwide.
That means that the whole planet got profoundly dumber.
The TV Series "Laverne and Shirley", "Petticoat Junction", and "The Dukes of Hazzard".
"In-Depth" interviews by Barbara Walters. The most shallow TV personality,
yet her tonal inflections make her sound credible to the simple mind.
On November 24, 2001, Katie actually said this phrase on-air
(while interviewing a reporter who was shot in the leg in Afghanistan)
"And is that when, -- excuse my language -- all heck broke loose?"
Note: Correct spelling is Katie Couric, but by mis-spelling it,
Many search engines ranked this page highly (like excellent "Google")
The Homeland Security Advisory System. This comes in two versions.
(The version for grown-ups is the one on the left side, by the way).
Every 15 minutes, Fox News will "scroll" the current threat level.
"The Cure for Cancer".
Since the 60's, Americans have been generously pouring hard earned money into the coffers
of hundreds of charities and non-profit org's for "the Cure for Cancer".
This has been a giant 'snow-job' on America, because after over 40 years, we still
give them money constantly. Remember, these are PhD's thinking up ways to get us to pay their
salaries for walking around in lab coats and looking important.
Boy, are we ever dumb. In over 40 years, have those PhD's even cured one thing?
The Song "We are the World".
Sung in unison by nearly every singer alive.
If you liked this song, you are another victim -- deduct 2 IQ points.
I'm not saying that only dumb girls get boob jobs, I'm saying that America is being
dumbed down by the notion of boob jobs. Shame on any guy that suggests that a woman
needs a boob job. Shame on any woman that thinks she is inferior without one.
"Macey's Thanksgiving Day Parade".
Every Float promotes a product. McDonalds, Mr. Peanut, Lego Toys, etc.
The parade is really a 3 hour long commercial.
American Children are now Much Dumber, because of:
Everyone gets a Trophy - nobody loses in today's children's Soccer!
Who is the brainiac that invented this idea?
Gee, mom; "Goody Goody Gumdrops!".
Japanese "Anime" cartoons. These run at five frames per second,
and cause seizures and measurable brain damage in both children and adults.
Your child loses 1 to 2 IQ points per episode watching these cartoons.
"Barney". Exception: When Ted Kennedy dressed in an anatomically correct
Barney Costume at an exclusive party in Martha's Vineyard.
"Tele Tubbies". Brilliantly crafted series by the British.
Their eventual goal with this show is to re-colonize America in about 40 years,
after children raised on this show are in charge of American government.
by Oscar Meyer
Just Rambling:"When you're going through hell -- keep going." - Winston Churchill
"When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging."
"If you are going to be hit by a car, be sure it's an Ambulance". - My Wife, Mary Jane
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result. -- Albert Einstein
The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once. -- Albert Einstein
The biggest cause of trouble in the world today is:
the stupid people are so sure about things,
and the intelligent folks are so full of doubts. -- Bertrand Russel
See also: Val's Top 100 Has-Been Actors page.
See also: Val's Smarting up of America page.
See also: Val's American Corporate Evil page.
See also: Val's When Will it Happen? page.
See also: Val's Funny Pictures page.
See also: Val's Look Alikes page.
Val Patterson, Salt Lake City, UT